Natural responses to devastating experiences..
We’re bound to feel rejected when we’ve been rejected....
Natural responses
to devastating experiences..
If you are a women
who cannot figure out how to
feel like a unified whole,
connected with both yourself and the world around you,
You are not alone.
For many women, this experience of
fragmentation and disconnection in the self
recurs throughout the life-cycle,
which means that we need tools and resources
for how to reconnect when we’ve lost touch.
Emily, described this as ‘losing the thread’ of her life.
One client, Emily, described this as ‘losing the thread’ of her life.
In our work together,she realized that her experience had been marked by
cyclical phases of this loss-of-self–
whether it was a traumatic caretaking ordeal with family
or heartbreaking betrayal and rejection
from partners, friends, and institutions.
When she went through these harsh and destabilizing experiences
at different phases in her life,
she noticed that it could cause her
to develop a sort of dependent style of personality
where she felt like ‘I might as well not exist as an individual’
and struggled to find a path back to her own goals and vision for her life.
She often blamed herself–overhearing her brain listing
all the things it thought were wrong with her.
Everything was her fault and she was a lost cause.
She found no other explanations–it was the only way she could make sense of her feelings of emptiness, mistrust, and insecurity.
But nothing was wrong with her.
Something was wrong with her connection to herself,
which made perfect sense.
We’re bound to feel rejected when we’ve been rejected,
and to feel heartbroken when someone breaks our heart.
These are natural responses to devastating experiences.
It’s not easy to reach out when you feel devastated, but she did.
We need inspired guidance and support.
What I knew, but she had yet to discover,
was that
We need inspired guidance and support to discover that
inside each of us, we have the tools we need to recover.
The hardest part of my job is convincing women that it’s possible to recover.
It’s hard to be optimistic when you’ve lost yourself.
We know something’s missing but we don’t know where it’s gone, or if we can get it back.
Once Emily understood that the hurt she was carrying was
a natural response to the circumstances she had been through,
she could also believe that her recovery was possible.
She joined the
and began to experience her body reawakening with the support of a group of women that could witness and deeply understand.
With time, her experience and perspective shifted from
‘I might as well not exist as an individual’
to ‘I’m here and I deserve to make the best choices for myself.
I can, and I will.’
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